Hijab Rules Rant

Do you ever get sick of them?

I mean, if you have been wearing hijab for a few years then you probably already know what is roughly appropriate for today's current Muslim society. I say today's society because it changes all the time. Actually even all cultures today don't agree and abide by one set of rules. Many cultures from areas like certain African countries and the Iranian/Afghani/Indian region don't even fully cover their head and leave a bit of hair showing and that is enough hijab for many.

I'm not even sure that is wrong... or right... or whatever. Maybe it just is what it is.

A lot of the rules we have have been decided upon interpretation of hadiths and the Quran (99.9% of the time by men - who obviously don't even wear hijab) and not all of them agree with the rest. Add in your own specific cultural interpretation of women's clothing and it could alter it slightly or change it all. I've been doing a lot of thinking about this issue lately and wondering what is hijab really?

Is hijab in its purest form the simple essence of modesty, of making sure you look decent on the street? Or is it a long list of strict rules we must abide by and if we don't we must be lectured by everyone under the sun about it?

I saw so many different types of hijab on my recent trip to Malaysia. The place was packed with international tourists so I got to see a myriad of different Muslim nationalities and their hijab style. The Khaleeji girls were mostly in head to toe black. Some with niqab, some without, some with piled on drag queen style makeup, some with a more natural look. Then there were the Iranian women. Most were in trousers and loose tops, most dressed with a loose scarf with some of their hair showing. Most Malaysian or Indonesian women also wore pants or long skirts with a slip-on hijab style (tudung); I came across a lot that were wearing short sleeved shirts with their arms bare due to the heat (I was so jealous - I was suffering in my abaya in that weather).

You could've picked any of these women, stood them aside and judged them for what they were wearing: "Oh she has her lower arm showing, her hair is showing, she's wearing pants, she's not wearing niqab, she is wearing niqab, she is wearing makeup, she has this, she has that, blah blah blah..." which is what a lot of us do.

We seem to pick each other to pieces for the smallest of things with our dress, which makes me think is this really hijab? Is this what God meant for us when we were told to cover? Or were we told to cover simply to ensure we weren't walking around with our privates on display for everyone to ogle at?

Pre-Islamic Arabian times: women didn't cover their chests - hence the ayah ordering women to cover their "adornments" so they wouldn't be hassled on the streets. Adornments does not refer to your rings or your bracelets. Men are not going to hassle you if you are wearing a necklace, ladies. They are more prone to go for the women who at that time walked around the streets with their boobies uncovered like "Hey, how's it going? Just walking to the shop to get some milk... with my boobs in the air. Everyone look at these." *points*. It was custom for women in Pre-Islamic Arabia (including non-Muslims) to cover their hair (as men also did - probably to keep the desert sand out) but not their chest, hence the ayah ordering women to extend their head-covering to ensure their chest (adornments) were also covered - we could argue for modesty's sake.

If we see hijab as a long list of strict rules then we will pick on each other for a wisp of hair showing or a foot showing, etc. If we see hijab as just a way for us to be dressed modestly then we won't pick on each other. There would be no need for stupid discussions on whether some girl we don't even know has her top too tight or not long enough.

I used to be like that 100% - very judgemental and quick to pick outfits to pieces. Thank God now I have changed. Now it just pisses me off when instead of seeing the good in something, there always has to be someone who tears it to pieces because they just have to let everyone know that it doesn't fit in with their definition of hijab.

Not even scholars agree on it all. Some people believe you shouldn't see the feet, or the face or even the hands. Thankfully most people don't agree because I'm really not ok with being a walking pair of eyes. That might suit some people but not me. I would just feel dehumanised, like I wasn't even allowed to be seen.

Also, modesty changes depending on what society you are in and what time you are living in. That is something to keep in mind when you look at other people and start to nitpick at them.

When I was on my little holiday I saw so many different types of dress with hijab and no matter how different they were they all had one common feature - they were all modest in their own way and it made me think "Wow, this is the real hijab." It was modesty in clothing in so many different ways. There was not only one type of dress.

There was only once when I was on my trip that I started "tsk tsk" to myself over a hijabi who was wearing lace tights (with all of her leg and underwear showing through the lace of course) with a lowcut tight tank top that ended where her tights started and some kind of carina invention that covered her arms and basically stopped at her arm pits.

I could see her boobs. I dont mean the outline or shape of them, I mean actual boobage. Her scarf and top covered nothing, no matter how many times she tugged at her tiny scarf. Then from the side there was a massive space where you saw the complete sides of her black bra and all the skin around that area. All I kept thinking was "this girl thinks hijab is just about a scarf on her head and that's it". I was just astonished. For two reasons. One - that she would even dress like that anyway (Muslim or not, it was just trashy). Two - she was with what looked like her sister, both of their husbands, children and what seemed to be someone's father and none of them seemed to be bothered by it.

I was thinking about going up to her and just saying "Just letting you know that I can see your... everything" so she could fix it, but then I thought "You know what? This girl should know what hijab is. And even if she doesn't she has her sister and three other men who seem to be related to her that should tell her. So it's not my place." And left her dress disaster to herself.

I've never been the type to go up to a stranger and tell them what to do but it was honestly so gross that I felt like I had to say something. I just felt so embarrassed and ashamed for her, but in the end I decided to not say anything at all because it might just come across as bitchy when I didn't mean it that way. Besides, from the way she was constantly tugging to unsuccessfully cover her breasts with her scarf, it was obvious she knew and was conscious about the fact that all she owned was on display. Plus all the Gulf women walking past her were giving her THE dirtiest looks, so there is no way she didn't already know.

That little incident just added another slice of proof to my thinking that hijab isn't just about a scarf on your head. It is about complete modesty that should start with your body and end with your scarf. I have friends who don't wear hijab and most of the time their outfits are a lot more modest than some hijabies I see.

What do you think? Is hijab to you about the essence of modesty or about following a list of rules? No one is right or wrong - just a discussion and airing of views. Leave your thoughts below.